hahahailtotheking: (that's a uh rather impressive dildo??)
Mickey Mouse ([personal profile] hahahailtotheking) wrote2012-08-03 04:03 am
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Dream Drop Distance Let's Play part 2: HECKFIRE, DARK FIRAGA

OKAY so it turned out to be a lie, that whole part about updating with a Let's Play every day... mostly because I didn't beat the game until right now. BUT now that I have finished it I have nothing but time to spend on beating out this baby, so with no further ado let us move on to Le Cité de Cloches...


-Tried tackling the Tron stage first which was a bad idea due to being severely underleveled for that stage. When I tried tackling the Hunchback stage and got my ass handed to me AGAIN, I kinda figured I was severely underleveled period. Gonna go train like a maniac, then proceed with this stage... and we start with Riku.

- Esmeralda runs past Riku and when Phoebus asks where she went Riku denies having ever seen her. Smooth.
-I’d like to imagine that Riku just did it because Esmeralda's hot and he saw a possible adversary in Phoebus soul-patch (it’s my head-canon that Riku is jealous of people capable of growing facial hair). Because really, even if he does have that nose that can smell dark intentions in others he wouldn’t smell them on Phoebus, so he has NO real reasons to believe that Esmeralda isn’t being looked after for legitimate reasons.
-Then again he might just have caught wind of Frollo, who shows up to berate Phoebus and look generally displeased at Riku for his strange clothes and general youthful sass. If darkness has a smell I think Frollo smells particularly dank and musky. I also have no idea who the soundalike for Frollo is but he sounds pretty close to Tony Jay and thus I am pleased.
-They leave and Esmeralda introduces herself to Riku, asking him why he helped a gypsy like her. Riku doesn’t give a reason but admits he doesn’t even know what a gypsy is. I can already hear the outraged social justice-workers sharpening their knives in anticipation.
- Oh my God Riku are you serious.
-They talk about Frollo and Riku starts to suspect Frollo is actually possessed by darkness as HE was, instead of being just a huge prick.
”I’d hate to know what darkness drives that man.” (actual quote from the game)
”EVIL BUGS SPAWNED BY HATE IN THE HEART OF ALL MEN AND FROM BEYOND THE STARS of course.”
”Kid you’re cute but not cute enough for this talk to be worth it” (ollies outie)
-Then again it’s kind of depressing that in Rikus experience, suspecting intergalactic bad mojo IS probably the most likely explanation.

-First impression: the music here really sounds like Castlevania, and I must say it’s pretty damn neat. Less neat: running into an invisible wall whenever I go anywhere but towards the cathedral. Anyhow, the first battle is seriously tough, so time to go train until I'm strong enough to handle the rest...
- Entering the stage with Sora this time instead, and the first thing that happens is that Sora walks past Frollo and Frollo just gives him this STARE OF JUDGMENT. And that’s all Frollo needs to know that Sora is a gypsy.
-Yes.
-The boy with brown spiky hair, pale skin and blue eyes is a surefire gypsy if I ever saw one.
-Scriptwriters why.
-Actual discussion: Frollo ”Can’t you see I’m busy interrogating this gypsy?”
Phoebus: ”What? But he’s just a boy.”
Frollo: ”I shall be the judge of that.”
No Frollo I’m fairly certain there is no way that Sora is anything but a boy actually.
-Unless you’re thinking of turning him into a man.
-Because Catholic priests -*the writer of this tasteless joke has been sacked. We apologize for the inconvenience*

-Phoebus lets us know there’s monsters in the square… whereupon Sora busts out his Keyblade and goes after them. Right in front of Frollo. On the one hand it’s not like Sora can know this stuff ahead of time but kid, seriously, this is how pyres and witch-burnings start.
-Phoebus chases after Sora and Frollo starts talking about how he has to handle both gypsies AND monsters and the soulcrushign responsibilities of being a white Christian upper class man frustrates him so much that he starts to literally ooze darkness. Wow.
- Disney may not have written Frollo as a subtle villain, but this is outright Saturday cartoon territory.
-When Sora arrives at the square he sees Quasimodo riding on a giant elephant Nightmare, with dozens of faceless voices crowing and cheering him on. Quasi seems snug as a bug in a rug, because he’s the recently appointed King of Fools of the Festival that consists of only him and Dream Eaters.
-I know this is just because the KH-team are butts and absolutely REFUSE to put in NPC’s in their games but this just makes it look like Quasimodo has finally snapped from loneliness and is imagining not just the gargoyles, but a whole plaza full of people. That’s dark in ways even Disney wouldn’t touch.
-But when Frollo arrives the fun ends, as Quasimodo is thrown off and then surrounded by Dream Eaters. They didn’t do that before Frollo turned up because of…
- … r e a s o n s …
-Which I’m sure will be expanded on further into the story.
-Sora rushes in and tells Quasi to get to safety while he stares down the politely waiting Nightmares, when Esmeralda appears and offers her help.
(actual conversaton)
Esmeralda: ”Let me help.”
Sora: ”Who are you?”
Esmeralda: ”Esmeraldy. I’m a gypsy.”
How it SHOULD continue:
”… Kay, I have no idea what that even means or why you’d introduce yourself that way but whatever floats your boat lady.”

-Quasi and Esmeralda have a moment where Esmeralda extends her hand to Quasi and he slowly accepts it and follows her into the church, and apparently it’s so precious that the Nightmares don’t have the heart to attack them on the way there.
-Or they’re like Phoebus and Frollo, who’re watching the scene and going ”aww yeah look at dat body” and ”ETERNAL FROWNY-FACE >:( ” respectively, even if their physical reaction is most likely the same.
-Sora actually ANNOUNCES that the Dream Eaters has his attention now. Got to admit that they're at least polite...
-Am introduced to ”Drill Sye”, a giant rhinoceros who curls up into a spiky ball. They hurt. A lot. The battle ends with me getting a Zolephant recipe (the elephant dream eaters) and the hunt for the two is on.
-Even if Sora can’t quite remember Quasimodos name. He’s not the brightest fellow, but that’s why we love the guy.
-Cathedrals pretty neat, the Reality Shift mini-game "Faith-line", lets you create lines you can ride like grind-rails and traverse the place WAY faster than usual.

-Quasi and Esmeralda are found at the top of the bell-tower, which is surprisingly hidden in plain view. For some reason Sora decides to skulk around in the shadows and spy on Quasi introducing Esmeralda to his bell-family, which is exactly when the gargoyles decide to strike up a conversation with him.
-Soras reaction to this is the same as could be expected by anybody sane and he freaks out LOUDLY.
-AND YET neither Quasimodo or Esmeralda hears him or engages with him in conversations and character development! Fancy that.
-Quasi helps Esmeralda escape, and Sora gets some info-dumps from the gargoyles on how Frollo has been ”raising” Quasimodo inside the cathedral. They lament that now that the attempt to visit the festival went belly-up thanks to those monsters Quasimodo might shrink back into himself again, which makes Sora super-determined to ensure Quasi doesn’t let his heart become a prison (he actually says that).
-And for some reason a bunch all of this just makes me picture Sora as some super-creepy fanboy stalker.
-Like he's gonna go out into the city, find Quasi and Esmeralda, give them the BEST DAY EVER and then watch as they marry each other, have two babies (one boy and one girl, named Quasimanda and Esmeron) and live happily ever after.
-We then get a flashback of Frollo being a dick to Quasimodo that doesn’t really tell us anything the gargoyles hadn’t already told us.
-Also can we talk about how Sora can talk to the gargoyles? The gargoyles that were supposed to just be figments of Quasimodos imagination?
-My God.
-Dream Drop Distance is a dream alright. But it’s QUASIMODOS DREAM.
-This actually makes my theory make even more sense: Quasimodo is imagining a protector of the light, descending down to help him get with the girl of his dreams. Sora is acting out the role Quasimodo dreamed up for him… or maybe Sora was a part of Quasimodos imagination THE WHOLE TIME. Make you ”we must go deeper” jokes here, folks.

-Dropping back to Riku because the meter’s running low now.
- Riku walks up to Notre Dame because he wants to investigate if Frollo is possessed by the darkness. How he’s going to do this is anyones guess, but I’m going to imagine Riku sniffing Frollos robe for trace amounts of otherworldy evil.
- Once inside he meets up with Quasimodo who tells him Frollo is at the outskirts of town and acts generally avoidant of Riku, which is still a lot better than in the movie in which I’m PRETTY DARN SURE he didn’t even go out of his room or into the church unless he had to. But when you need to get the plot moving…
-Quasimodo tells Riku he’s kept in Notre Dame for his protection, and when Riku questions this Quasi tells him what a monster he is and how the world would be cruel to him, and Riku replies that a true friend would see him for who he is, so he should really go out and make himself a friend!
-I’m sure that won’t result in him receiving about ten percent of Paris harvested produce pelted at him. Yes. This is a Good Plan and you should feel good for coming up with it, Riku.
-Riku then goes on to tell Quasimodo that maybe the problem isn’t entirely that Frollo has forbid Quasimodo from leaving the tower, but that his own heart won’t let him try to go outside. And if he just examines himself, he will find what he really wants and act upon that desire. Whereupon he leaves and mutters he wishes he could take his own advice.
-Remember the movie, anyone? Where Quasimodo was kept under tight lock and key, but broke out on his own volition and then kept doing so to help others?
-Because I don’t think Nomura does.

-Welp, going out now because that’s more productive than getting upset at strange writing. Man the town is confusing, tons of high buildings, winding alleyways and very little that visually distinguishes one section of the area from the other.
-And as if to answer my call for variety, stepping out onto the bridge summons the stage boss, a giant flamebreathing gargoyle, who proceeds to chase Riku! You have to traverse several obstacles such as wagons, barrels and construction platforms once you cross into the other section of town, all while the triumphant main-theme of the game plays. The sound doesn’t QUITE match the action, as you can’t fight back and can only run from burning doom while you are hopefully NOT causing the indirect death of invisible Parisians.
-After the bridge and a second part of town you finally escape into the outskirts, only to end up right at the windmill which Frollo burned down in the movie.
-Here however things ended up quite different.
-Frollo does NOT burn down the windmill this time around, even if the millers DID house gypsies, because why should he do so much work when he apparently commands the giant Dream Eater gargoyle? When Phoebus asks what ”demon” that is, a VERY apt question considering the world we’re in, Frollo’s response is basically that it is not a demon, but RIGHTEOUS BURNINATING POWER TO SMITE THE GYPSIES.
-And then he just WALKS back to town, laughing in a very evil and over the top way every step of the way. See my previous statement re: Saturday morning cartoons.
-Phoebus gets his ass handed to him by the gargoyle when he tries to run after Frollo, but it’s cool: Riku’s got this.
(actual conversation)
”I have to admit, it’s embarrassing having to rely on a kid.”
”Yeah, well, you wouldn’t be the first. Sorry.”
My my Riku, you CAN wear the sassy pants as well from the look of things.
-Though seriously Frollo in Rikus storyline so far has been nothing but ”GYPSIES GYPSIES BURN BURN GYPSIES GYPSIES BURN BURN”
-During the conversation between Phoebus, Riku and Frollo, Frollo actually starts oozing darkness again. It’s a thing he does like ALL THE TIME.
-Whatevs, time to drop back into Sora’s story.
-Sora runs out of the cathedral and runs into Phoebus. Sora is not pleased to see him which does please Phoebus since he’s been banished from the Guard by Frollo, and is glad to find someone sensible enough to dislike the crazy old racist. Me, I just think Sora can smell a danger to his OTP.
-Frollo told Pheobus that he’s found the Court of Miracles and is hunting it down, which prompts Quasimodo who was just lurking around behind a tent on the street, and not inside the bell-tower, as you do, to approach the two and tell them about the map he’s found. Phoebus and Sora backpat their lovable friend Quasimodo and head of a chummy budadventure, and I just remember the time when Quasi hoisted Phoebus several feet in the air and threatened to kill him in the movie. Oh, Nomura.
(actual quote-time again!)
Quasimodo: (with great determination)”I’m going to save her!”
Sora only managed to hide his squee of ”ONE TRUE LOVE” by setting fire to a nearby Dream Eater. Their love is JUST SO PURE.
-And now it’s time for arbitrary obstacle courses! Three giant Dream Eaters have been summoned to block our path with giant thorns that won’t fade away lest we kill them. It’s busy work and I’m bored writing about it, so let us instead cut to the graveyard…

-Like in the movie Quasi and the gang go through catacombs to reach the Court of Miracles, and I gotta stop here and tell you that they did a great job with this section because it looks GORGEOUS. The colors may be brown dirt and grey rock, but the architechture of the place, the dim lightning and the decorations lurking here really makes this place stand out. Sure, most of the skullpiles are just flat textures leaned against a wall, but the dank water, the masonry, the details… this place is really the best looking part of the stage so far.
-Also there’s giant pots of oozing poison that you have to destroy before proceeding here, but the place looks so good that I can overlook it. There’s a wonderful mixture of ancient stone-catacomb, dug out earth-tunnels and decaying wood mixed with sewer-architechture that really makes this area look memorable and you’re never really lost. Add to that that your Dream Eaters occasionally stop and point out sections of the wall you can break to find hidden treasures, and you can play this area over and over again. It is that cool.

-I drop back to Riku however because the meter got low, and he doesn’t do much beside run back to the city. Not much change here: the skybox has a red streak to indicate a burning horizon, and there are some pyres here and there once inside the city. I drop as I am almost at what I suspect will be the final confrontation.
-Sora and gang enters the court where Esmeralda stands, ready to initiate a cut-scene when you talk to her. But before that I tackle a challenge mission with a ton of Iceguin Aces, AND Flowmotion-jump all the way up to the hangmans platform and hit the switch. The platform actually gives way. Even if this stage has a drastic lack of Clopin, this remaining detail is somewhat pleasing to me.
-But then canon rears it’s unpleasant head as Quasimodo, Phoebus and Sora just end up leading Frollo to the Court of Miracles… except this time, instead of bringing a contingent of armored guards with swords and torches, Frollo just summons Dream Eaters. To say that the scene loses some of it’s gravitas when Frollo manages to hold back two grown men and a massively powerful RPG-hero at bay with a strike force of Meow Wows would be quite the understatement.
-And in no time flat Frollo has walked past ALL the heroes, despite them forming a protective front in front of Esmeralda, walked calmly around her, grabbed her arm and gently lead her out of the Court of Miracles. Neither of them seems to put up much of a fight. The scene has so little action and impact that unless someting happens soon Frollo might fall asleep, because it’s near tea-time and that’s nap-time for him.
-Fortunately Sora’s rage at seeing his OTP denied and some old skeever get his hands on QUASIS girl is powerful enough to shake his plot-mandated lethargy and rush Frollo! But Frollo is wise to such ways and flares up with darkness, which somehow summons the boss to knock Sora flat on his ass from behind.

-We then see the camera slowly fade into view, to symbolize Sora waking up… and one second later Sora is on his feet and running around. I presume he cast cure on himself. Also, why didn’t the Dream Eaters wack him while he was knocked out? How do you get knocked out in a dream anyway? How does this world even WORK?
-My questions have no answers, so Sora decides to run to where Frollo was loudly declaring he would be. And then we actually cut right to the square outside Notre Dame instead of having to walk all the way- now there’s SERVICE for ya.
-Sora COULD run up and douse the pyre with Blizzard, but Quasimodo swoops in on a rope, unties Esmeralda and swoops back to Notre Dame, ascending it’s towers while Sora looks on in mad shipper-glee.
”SANCTUARYY!”
”OMG YES YOU ARE THE BEST”
”SANCTUAR- Sora what are you yelling down there, I can’t hear you!”
”PRECIOUS BABIES YOU ARE THE BEST EVER JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH MY FEELS AGLSAGH”
”… It’s not even half as exciting as in the movie considering him, you and me are the only ones around to witness it.”
”DON’T HARSH ON MY SQUEE OLD MAN!”
Frollo runs into Notre Dame as the boss comes tumbling out of the sky, aaaand it’s time to drop back because I’m almost done here.

-Back in Rikuverse, he arrives late to the party by the square as Quasimodo has already rescued Esmeralda. Riku asks where the boss is, and whereupon Quasimodo just points up into the sky where the giant Gargoyle is hovering in plain sight. We should have seen him when the camera first panned in because he doesn’t ARRIVE there, he just IS already there. I imagine that Quasimodo made a spectucular ”DUH”-face after Rikus question.
-Riku rushes in to fight and Quasimodo tries to tag along, but Riku tells him to chill out and that he’s got everything under control. But he’s apparently not in THAT big a hurry as he THEN turns around to ask Quasimodo ”what his hearts answer was”, see earlier discussions for that, and with Quasimodos smile which is apparently an answer we are FINALLY allowed to head up into the actual cathedral.
-(Riku enters to see the gargoyles fight Dream Eaters inside the church)
”Don’t worry about these small fries, leave them to us and our sassy banter!”
”… Kay.”
-Boy that was a deep and meaningful appearance that contributed so much to the story.
-Especially since that was the first time Riku ever met the gargoyles.
-My God Riku’s tone when he answers them, it really overflows with ”don’t know what you are, don’t give two Komory-droppings either.”
Seriously the gargoyles are fighting Meow Wows in this scene. Watching stone statues beat up fat puppies is not very heroic.

-… So that happened.
- Riku arrives at the top only to find Frollo laughing like a mad man and getting wicked jollies on how the fire will cleanse the city of the impure, whereupon it finally dawns on Riku that Frollo is just plain nucking futs. To which Frollo basically goes ”WOULD A CRAZY PERSON DO THIS?!?!”, summons the boss, laughs again and jumps off the cathedral while screaming that judgment will be his.
-I can actually taste the anti-climax in my mouth.

-Oh. OOOH now I see- they needed to make way for PRETTIER villains, because here is Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, picking up Frollos sword and waving it around as he is accompanied by mister Black Coat. Riku asks what he’s doing there, and the two taunt Riku for being a little scaredycat who’s afraid of the dark and who should totally join their superspecial awesome club, or he will go out like a punk like Frollo just did.
-So they essentially threw Frollos characterization and arc away just to have mister Black Coat spout menacing mumbo-jumbo on how Riku is totally scared of the darkness inside unless he joins their secret club in which case he will be superawesome and hang with the cool kids.
-The bull-shit is too much for words.
-The two leave and Riku fights the boss. Boss itself is not that much to write home about: he will fire dozens of bullets that look like stained glass crystals, surround his gauntlets with fire and punch Riku, tackle Riku, and summon a rain of fireballs. I pretty much just rana round while he was firing projectiles, then went in close and wailed on him until he died. You can also jump out over the city and ”ride the hot air waves from the fires” because that’s a thing that’s possible in order to get close to him which makes the fight even easier. Just ride around and dodge projectiles while you snipe the boss from a distance with Blizzard, He goes down soon enough. Main theme plays during this battle as well, which feels FAR more appropriate then when we were running from it.
-Defeating the boss makes him tumble to the ground as his wings slowly fall apart… and when Riku watches him go down in flames we get a text-recap of Kingdom Hearts 1, which we can read now or at the main-screen. Recap makes mention of the brown coat man, Sora adventuring, Riku getting possessed after a ”good trashing”… and Ansem was apparently trying to create the Keyhole that would lead to the doorway that lead to the heart of all worlds, Kingdom Hearts. Don’t remember if that was how it was framed in the original. Also, they have a brief section on how ”Kairis heart was inside Sora all along and he tried to release it and turned into a heartless but Kairis light changed him back”. WHICH EXPLAINS SO MUCH. AND WOULD BE SUCH A HELPFUL RESOURCE IF I WAS NOT FAMILIAR WITH KH1.
-Kingdom Hearts was already opened, Sora closed it and Riku and Mickey stayed behind in the real of darkness… don’t think there’s any blatant ret-con in here, so on with the show!

-We then go to the ending where Quasimodo admits that even if Frollo kept him locked up in the belltower the REAL walls were the ones he built around his heart, and Rikus awesome advice helped him realize that. The rest of the cutscene devolves into everyone asspatting Riku Esmeralda assures him that sometimes we have to keep things locked up inside until we figure them out, and I… can’t help but feel like this wasn’t really touched on at all in the original Notre Dame movie and the whole story has essentially been hijacked to give Riku an ego-boost. Like, it’s not BAD advice per se, but I have no idea why Esmeralda is the one saying this, or why this whole storyline became so focused on Riku. Time to drop back to Sora and see if that story fares any better.
-The bossfight this time around is much more complicated. He doesn’t fly around any more (or have wings… did the boss ”drop” in here from Rikus time-line?), but limiting him to the ground means he’s using his fists much more often and they HURT. Two most common attacks are him shooting his fists out like burning missiles, and one attack where he extends them out and spins around like a windmill on fire as he chases Sora. Block the first one, and run until the second one ends, and the boss will collapse on the ground letting you sneak in a few free hits in. I say a few because he will soon get up, and when he does he’s surrounded by an aura of fire that HURTS if you get hit. Stay at medium distance when he falls and snipe with magic, then run in close because if you keep your distance when he’s up and moving he’ll summon a swarm of homing fireballs and send out unblockable shockwaves through the ground. Sticking semi-close and bearing the heat is your best option here.

-And when you beat the boss, the original ending from Notre Dame plays out. Frollo revealing his part in Quasis mothers death, Frollo grasping the gargoyle as he falls screaming to his fiery death, Esmeralda trying to pull up Quasimodo only to drop him-
”ASHDLGHG NOOO I GOT SUNKD”
- Phoebus showing up to save Quasi-
”ASHFGYR YES YOU ARE THE BEST BROTP”
-and Quasimodo stepping back and joining Esmeralda and Phoebus’s hands even if they haven’t had any kind of romance at all so far.
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME UNIVERSE… OT3 maybe?”
-So we cut to the church and see Phoebus and Esmeralda walk out, and then Sora appears next to the gargoyles who won’t be saying anything or even reacting to anything said here because they are so POINTLESS-ehem. Sora says Quasimodo can’t let his heart be a prison again because that was apparently Quasimodos deal the whole time, and Quasimodo says he knows- he can’t blame Frollo for putting up walls around him, because the real walls were around his heart.
-No.
-This was not a thing in the movie. I’m pretty damn sure that is was not and never was a thing in the movie that Quasimodos bad self-confidence was a bigger obstacle than the CRAZY PRIEST KEEPING HIM LOCKED UP was. WHY ARE YOU GOING DOWN THIS ROAD GAME??
-Oh.
-It was so that when Mister Black Cloak shows up he can tell Sora he’s being a hypocrite, because Sora’s heart is a prison too even if-
Mister Black Cloak and Vanitas at the same time :”You are not the prisoner.”
-Sora is understandably confused and most likely disturbed at seeing evil him hover beside a dude like some ghost of terrible fanwork-OCs past, present AND to come, but he promptly leaves him soon after that and exits the world. And we get a recap of Birth By Sleep as well!

-And then we suddenly seeing Roxas tell Axel he made them a promise, to always bring them back. And Axel can’t even say ”hey BFF why did you vanish all of a sudden” before he wakes up and is, quote himself now, ”people again”. He quickly figures out that everyone who joined the organization in Radiant Garden is there, except for Braig, Xehanort… and Isa.
-Also, recap of 358/2 Days.
-Okay so: good things about this world were the architechture, some of the event scenes like escaping from the Wargoyle boss, the boss battles… but the story. Man, the story. It felt horribly rail-roaded in order to make it all about Sora and Riku, reflect completely on them and disregard the events of canon. Like I get that this is a ”dream world” or whatever where things are strange, but I don’t think they’re likely to revisit this word in later games and that this is the best treatment one of my favorite Disney-flicks get just feels weak. Final verdict: pretty darn dissapoint. Good thing is that the plot has started to move, so we’ll see what happens next time we clear a world…
Team that I used in Hunchback world.
Sora: Bulkhead, Benny the Kuma Panda, Count the Komory Bat.
Riku: Bambi the, Count the Bat, Charmander the Heby Repp.

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